| Due to the
high volume of calls, all representatives are currently assisting
other callers. Please wait on the line and a representative will be
with you shortly. |
Due to the
fact that we pay slave wages to our employees, we can't find enough
people to work here. When we do, they quit after a few
days. |
| shortly,
momentarily |
About 30-45
minutes |
| Please select from the
following 5 options: |
There's only 1
department in our company but we want to seem big and
impressive. |
| Please enter your 14
digit account number, followed by the # sign. |
When you finally reach a
representative, you will be asked to provide your 14 digit account
number (without the # sign). |
| Would you hold,
please? |
I need to smoke a
cigarette and make some personal phone calls. |
| I'd be happy to provide
verification that you satisfied your contract and are no longer
under any obligation with our company. |
You'll never see any
verification because it is against company policy. The next time you
call, another person will promise verication you'll never
see. |
| Peak calling
times |
All the
time |
| Visit our web site at
www.crookedcorp.com for answers to all of your questions. |
It costs us money when
you call us toll free. You won't find what you need on our web site,
but at least we got you off the phone. |
| Your call will be
answered in the order it was received. |
YOU are always the last
caller. |
| I'll check with my
supervisor. |
I'll put you on hold and
pretend that I'm speaking to my
supervisor. |
